I really wanted to start out light

I even had a funny entry jotted down somewhere on a piece of paper. But I am just not in the mood. I'll save it for later. For those who might be reading this and not knowing me, I am really, really funny, at least some of the time. I know that you have only one chance to make a good impression and starting off with a serious topic speaks a lot more than trying to pursuade people that I am really funny. But like I said, I am really not in the mood...

Vasisualiy and I were watching a movie yesterday. Not our regular light Saturday night pick, but I was very intrigued by the Netflix description and ordered it any way. This movie is called "Goebbels Experiment" and it is about..well Goebbels. What is interesting about this movie is that there is not commentary. It is entirely based on his diary entries and his speeches. I wasn't shocked by anything in this movie because I knew most of it. They didn't really show a lot of violence or emaciated Jewish bodies where survivors don't look much different than the dead. I don't really need that. Those pictures are in my head and heart constantly. What was interesting about the movie is seeing a human being behind the facts, the deeds, the horrors he was responsible for. Interesting, but not shocking. I guess nothing could be more shocking than the deeds themselves.

However, I couldn't help but feel sorry for his kids. There was footage of them and they seemed so innocent, so normal. On the other hand, with the father like Goebbels, they probably would have turned out just the same. I even told Vasisuliy that I felt very conflicted about this. His take was that those were "zmeyonishy" (little snakes) and I shouldn't feel like that. Call me naive, but I still feel bad for those kids. I do. Yes, the chances are that those kids would've been terrible human beings, but there are extraordinary people who come from horrible parents and overcome their upbringing. I believe in the power of human spirit, in the power of seeing the other side of the story. I believe that God would have revealed the truth to them at some point of their lives, and it would have been up to them whether to accept or reject it. But they never got that chance, and no matter how much I try to forget about it, I cannot. Hence my serious mood.

Don't misunderstand me. Had I had a chance, I wouldn't think twice about making those kids orphans. And I am not too sorry for his wife either. She did not marry him when he was nice and cuddly, before he became what he had become. She knew what she was getting into. But them... you don't get to choose your parents.

So the question for me remains: am I so wrong, naive or stupid in feeling bad for them? Is it wrong? Or is it wrong not to?