My Name is Rachel Corrie featuring Madam Gritzatzuyeva as Rachel.
Time: Saturday Night at the Communal Kitchen.
Monday, October 1, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Thank you, Madonna
This is the official letter of Father Fyodor, of Voronya Slobodka, to Madonna, of Judaism:
Dear Madonna,
It is hard to fully express my gratitude. I am so thankful to you for appointing yourself ambassador of Judaism. That should teach those Jews who actually take their religion seriously. If you ever consider being the ambassador of Christianity, remember that there are Hinduism, Buddhism and a bunch of other religions you could represent. Also, do not disregard your Catholic origins if you wish to expand your ambassadorial mission. And although very few people take your self-appointed title seriously, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for not representing the Russian Orthodox Church.
Sincerely,
Father Fyodor
Dear Madonna,
It is hard to fully express my gratitude. I am so thankful to you for appointing yourself ambassador of Judaism. That should teach those Jews who actually take their religion seriously. If you ever consider being the ambassador of Christianity, remember that there are Hinduism, Buddhism and a bunch of other religions you could represent. Also, do not disregard your Catholic origins if you wish to expand your ambassadorial mission. And although very few people take your self-appointed title seriously, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for not representing the Russian Orthodox Church.
Sincerely,
Father Fyodor
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
I have been asked by out computer literate residents (ok, ok, I was asking myself) as to why the Secretary has not put the resolution 132-1 so beautifully blessed by Father Fyodor on our blog. This is in clear violation of Father Fyodor's interpretation of the Public Information Availability Act of 1997. Just a reminder to those unaware that this resolution was passed upon reading Barb Chansky's blog entry "Why do I care so much about politics?" (www.barbinwonderland.blogspot.com)
Here's official Voron'ya Slobodka's (VS) response:
How do you feel about constant government interference in our economy? Vornon’ya Slobodka embraces government’s constant interference with the economy. Since one can’t fight the inevitable, we choose to support it. Some of our less enlightened residents are trying to avoid the interference by evading tax payments. While V. Lokhankin, the President of VS, applauds their efforts on a personal level, officially he whole-heartedly condemns is, and anyone caught in the act of such evil doing will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. (Secretary’s note: Practically speaking, anybody caught evading taxes – and we know who you are – will have to share the “saving” with the President, Secretary’s husband.)
How do you feel knowing that your hard work and sweat feeds an enormous government machine? Since some of the residents not only feed, but are also being fed by this machine either by working for or because of the government, the residents' feelings are not to exceed slightly annoyed and all negative conversation about the before mentioned machine to be contained to the communal kitchen. (Secretary's note: Comrades, when upset and talking, please stay away from and do not spit into the soup pot. Thank you in advance).
How do you feel about the pathetic state of our public schools? The Voron'ya Slobodka's education committee had found the state to be worrisome, but not pathetic. It also felt that since most American universities are private, not public, dictating them what to indoctrinate their students with is not advisable.
How do you feel about members of the "religion of peace and brotherly love" settling in droves right next to us, demanding preferential treatment, and multiplying like rats, again at our expense? VS’s Committee on Political Correctness and International Peace found the comment highly inappropriate since the same has been and can be said about devout members (read: the ones with more than 2.1 children per household) of any organized religion, including religion to which Ms. Chansky belongs.
Ms. Chansky also expressed unhappiness about Daylight Savings time and other matters. VS response: Your anger at getting up an hour earlier was deemed unpatriotic, since the bill was signed by our beloved president Bush, who is deemed a Saint by Father Fyodor and, therefore, is above all criticism. The same is VS’s official response to any criticism of the current government and President Bush in particular. (Secretary's note: Comrades, once again, all unofficial responses to be limited to kitchen and away from soup pots.)
VS determine that we need to investigate Ms. Chansky’s post further. For that purpose, Voron'ya Slobodka's own government machine has been doubled in size and now includes investigative committee. (Secretary's note: Comrades, whoever hasn't donated their 5 rubles to the support of Slobodka's government will not be allowed to use communal sortir (bathroom)!)
Signed, Vasisualiy Lokhankin, President
Father Fyodor, Vice-President
Maria Lokhankin, Secretary
Cc: Mayor M. Bloomberg,
Senator H. Clinton;
Presidents G.W. Bush and V. Putin
Here's official Voron'ya Slobodka's (VS) response:
How do you feel about constant government interference in our economy? Vornon’ya Slobodka embraces government’s constant interference with the economy. Since one can’t fight the inevitable, we choose to support it. Some of our less enlightened residents are trying to avoid the interference by evading tax payments. While V. Lokhankin, the President of VS, applauds their efforts on a personal level, officially he whole-heartedly condemns is, and anyone caught in the act of such evil doing will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. (Secretary’s note: Practically speaking, anybody caught evading taxes – and we know who you are – will have to share the “saving” with the President, Secretary’s husband.)
How do you feel knowing that your hard work and sweat feeds an enormous government machine? Since some of the residents not only feed, but are also being fed by this machine either by working for or because of the government, the residents' feelings are not to exceed slightly annoyed and all negative conversation about the before mentioned machine to be contained to the communal kitchen. (Secretary's note: Comrades, when upset and talking, please stay away from and do not spit into the soup pot. Thank you in advance).
How do you feel about the pathetic state of our public schools? The Voron'ya Slobodka's education committee had found the state to be worrisome, but not pathetic. It also felt that since most American universities are private, not public, dictating them what to indoctrinate their students with is not advisable.
How do you feel about members of the "religion of peace and brotherly love" settling in droves right next to us, demanding preferential treatment, and multiplying like rats, again at our expense? VS’s Committee on Political Correctness and International Peace found the comment highly inappropriate since the same has been and can be said about devout members (read: the ones with more than 2.1 children per household) of any organized religion, including religion to which Ms. Chansky belongs.
Ms. Chansky also expressed unhappiness about Daylight Savings time and other matters. VS response: Your anger at getting up an hour earlier was deemed unpatriotic, since the bill was signed by our beloved president Bush, who is deemed a Saint by Father Fyodor and, therefore, is above all criticism. The same is VS’s official response to any criticism of the current government and President Bush in particular. (Secretary's note: Comrades, once again, all unofficial responses to be limited to kitchen and away from soup pots.)
VS determine that we need to investigate Ms. Chansky’s post further. For that purpose, Voron'ya Slobodka's own government machine has been doubled in size and now includes investigative committee. (Secretary's note: Comrades, whoever hasn't donated their 5 rubles to the support of Slobodka's government will not be allowed to use communal sortir (bathroom)!)
Signed, Vasisualiy Lokhankin, President
Father Fyodor, Vice-President
Maria Lokhankin, Secretary
Cc: Mayor M. Bloomberg,
Senator H. Clinton;
Presidents G.W. Bush and V. Putin
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Night Watch - Watch Out!
Saturday night is traditionally a movie night at VS. All the tenants gather in the communal kitchen to watch a movie previously screened and approved by Father Fyodor. For the past two years we were watching bootleg copies of Mexican telenovellas fetched by Father Fyodor on the black market.
Last night father Father Fyodor was away on business and no pre-approved entertainment was available, a bit negligent on Father Fyodor's part, may God forgive me for criticizing her servant. Gavrik, baba Katya's son, said that he had a copy of Night Watch, a fantasy he said. Some fantasy! In the absence of other options, it was unanimously voted to watch Night Watch. We should have known there would be trouble. I don't know why we keep on listening to this stupid boy (but then again he is the only one with the DVD collection). Last time two years ago, Gavrik made us watch Eight and a Half Weeks. Immediately upon the end of the second rerun, Eight and a Half Weeks was unanimously condemned as ungodly filth (well, almost unanimously ... since Ded Semyon couldn't stop grinning and did not respond to outside stimuli for about an hour after the end of the movie, he was considered as abstained), DVD confiscated, Gavrik was publicly spanked, and father Fyodor gave a brief, but powerful sermon, ordering all residents of VS to take a vow of chastity for at least three months effective immediately. Incidentally, nine months after watching that movie VS was blessed with an unprecedented boom of absolutely healthy premature, as Father Fyodor called them, babies, all of whom weighed eight pounds or more, except Father Fyodor's twins who weighed only seven pounds each. Our Fedya, though born at 28 weeks of gestation, was the biggest of all at nine and a half pounds... oh yeah, back to tonight.
Needless to say that Night Watch stirred a bit of a controversy in VS. Baba Katya was crossing herself every few minutes whispering, "Demons, demons among us." Ded Semyon would then spit at the screen, yet they both continued to watch until the very end. People gave nervous glances to Gavrik, who had an uncanny resemblance to vampire Andrei. Mothers would cover their babes' eyes during the vampire scenes and pressed them tightly against their bosom, to the loud protests of some of the seventeen-year-old babes. In the state of great confusion brought on by the disturbing images in the film, Lyudmila too pressed Vorob'yaninov against her ample bosom and kept on doing it, I would say, rather unmotherly over and over again. Baba Katya said that she saw Lyudmila early next morning leaving Vorob'yaninov's apartment. He must have really gotten scared, poor thing...
After the end of the movie, the emergency meeting of the VS was called. It was unanimously declared that VS doesn't support violent entertainment with the elements of witchcraft and owning materials of this sort would be grounds for eviction. Lokhankin, as the president of Slovodka, confiscated Gavrik's copy of Night Watch and promised swift justice if Gavrik would bring filth like this again into VS. Baby Katya promised that Gavrik would get a good beating that night and swore to keep a better eye on him. It was also unanimously decided not to mention the incident to Father Fyodor, lest he would make us take another vow that no one would keep.
When we got to our room, Vasisualiy immediately popped the DVD into our player and watched the movie again, to acquaint himself better with the enemy, as he said. We have to know what and who we stand against, in our fight for good, Masha. He is a real fighter, my Lokhankin, and such an idealist! I think he really enjoyed acquainting himself with the forces of evil. Later, when we were in bed, he asked me if I thought that Father Fyodor was "the other". I personally don't think that screaming "I can see through all of you" in the drunken stupor qualifies him as "the other" though his gift to sniff out vodka through closed doors or his sheer ability to consume as much as he does might... So I said, Yes dear, I think Father Fyodor might be. At the very least there's something "otherly" in his knack of picking our entertainment without causing much controversy.
Next week we are going back to "Simply Maria". Get your handkerchiefs ready and bring a spare for your wife!
Last night father Father Fyodor was away on business and no pre-approved entertainment was available, a bit negligent on Father Fyodor's part, may God forgive me for criticizing her servant. Gavrik, baba Katya's son, said that he had a copy of Night Watch, a fantasy he said. Some fantasy! In the absence of other options, it was unanimously voted to watch Night Watch. We should have known there would be trouble. I don't know why we keep on listening to this stupid boy (but then again he is the only one with the DVD collection). Last time two years ago, Gavrik made us watch Eight and a Half Weeks. Immediately upon the end of the second rerun, Eight and a Half Weeks was unanimously condemned as ungodly filth (well, almost unanimously ... since Ded Semyon couldn't stop grinning and did not respond to outside stimuli for about an hour after the end of the movie, he was considered as abstained), DVD confiscated, Gavrik was publicly spanked, and father Fyodor gave a brief, but powerful sermon, ordering all residents of VS to take a vow of chastity for at least three months effective immediately. Incidentally, nine months after watching that movie VS was blessed with an unprecedented boom of absolutely healthy premature, as Father Fyodor called them, babies, all of whom weighed eight pounds or more, except Father Fyodor's twins who weighed only seven pounds each. Our Fedya, though born at 28 weeks of gestation, was the biggest of all at nine and a half pounds... oh yeah, back to tonight.
Needless to say that Night Watch stirred a bit of a controversy in VS. Baba Katya was crossing herself every few minutes whispering, "Demons, demons among us." Ded Semyon would then spit at the screen, yet they both continued to watch until the very end. People gave nervous glances to Gavrik, who had an uncanny resemblance to vampire Andrei. Mothers would cover their babes' eyes during the vampire scenes and pressed them tightly against their bosom, to the loud protests of some of the seventeen-year-old babes. In the state of great confusion brought on by the disturbing images in the film, Lyudmila too pressed Vorob'yaninov against her ample bosom and kept on doing it, I would say, rather unmotherly over and over again. Baba Katya said that she saw Lyudmila early next morning leaving Vorob'yaninov's apartment. He must have really gotten scared, poor thing...
After the end of the movie, the emergency meeting of the VS was called. It was unanimously declared that VS doesn't support violent entertainment with the elements of witchcraft and owning materials of this sort would be grounds for eviction. Lokhankin, as the president of Slovodka, confiscated Gavrik's copy of Night Watch and promised swift justice if Gavrik would bring filth like this again into VS. Baby Katya promised that Gavrik would get a good beating that night and swore to keep a better eye on him. It was also unanimously decided not to mention the incident to Father Fyodor, lest he would make us take another vow that no one would keep.
When we got to our room, Vasisualiy immediately popped the DVD into our player and watched the movie again, to acquaint himself better with the enemy, as he said. We have to know what and who we stand against, in our fight for good, Masha. He is a real fighter, my Lokhankin, and such an idealist! I think he really enjoyed acquainting himself with the forces of evil. Later, when we were in bed, he asked me if I thought that Father Fyodor was "the other". I personally don't think that screaming "I can see through all of you" in the drunken stupor qualifies him as "the other" though his gift to sniff out vodka through closed doors or his sheer ability to consume as much as he does might... So I said, Yes dear, I think Father Fyodor might be. At the very least there's something "otherly" in his knack of picking our entertainment without causing much controversy.
Next week we are going back to "Simply Maria". Get your handkerchiefs ready and bring a spare for your wife!
Sunday, March 18, 2007
I really wanted to start out light, update
Lokhankin is human! Yay!
Sometimes it is hard to remember that underneath that hard shell and politically incorrect male bravado, there is a rather sensitive guy. Tonight Vasisualiy admitted that the images of Goebbels kids, lying poisoned and dead, looking horribly innocent, almost asleep (almost his own words) had been haunting him all day. He was upset and couldn't concentrate all day long. I was so happy to rediscover his sensitivity, so happy that we had the same reaction to the movie, especially in light of his words yesterday, that I started hugging him and squeeling with delight. He was caught completely off guard by my reaction. He did not expect that telling his wife that his day completely sucked would bring her so much joy. Poor Vasya, he still has so much to learn about women...
Sometimes it is hard to remember that underneath that hard shell and politically incorrect male bravado, there is a rather sensitive guy. Tonight Vasisualiy admitted that the images of Goebbels kids, lying poisoned and dead, looking horribly innocent, almost asleep (almost his own words) had been haunting him all day. He was upset and couldn't concentrate all day long. I was so happy to rediscover his sensitivity, so happy that we had the same reaction to the movie, especially in light of his words yesterday, that I started hugging him and squeeling with delight. He was caught completely off guard by my reaction. He did not expect that telling his wife that his day completely sucked would bring her so much joy. Poor Vasya, he still has so much to learn about women...
I really wanted to start out light
I even had a funny entry jotted down somewhere on a piece of paper. But I am just not in the mood. I'll save it for later. For those who might be reading this and not knowing me, I am really, really funny, at least some of the time. I know that you have only one chance to make a good impression and starting off with a serious topic speaks a lot more than trying to pursuade people that I am really funny. But like I said, I am really not in the mood...
Vasisualiy and I were watching a movie yesterday. Not our regular light Saturday night pick, but I was very intrigued by the Netflix description and ordered it any way. This movie is called "Goebbels Experiment" and it is about..well Goebbels. What is interesting about this movie is that there is not commentary. It is entirely based on his diary entries and his speeches. I wasn't shocked by anything in this movie because I knew most of it. They didn't really show a lot of violence or emaciated Jewish bodies where survivors don't look much different than the dead. I don't really need that. Those pictures are in my head and heart constantly. What was interesting about the movie is seeing a human being behind the facts, the deeds, the horrors he was responsible for. Interesting, but not shocking. I guess nothing could be more shocking than the deeds themselves.
However, I couldn't help but feel sorry for his kids. There was footage of them and they seemed so innocent, so normal. On the other hand, with the father like Goebbels, they probably would have turned out just the same. I even told Vasisuliy that I felt very conflicted about this. His take was that those were "zmeyonishy" (little snakes) and I shouldn't feel like that. Call me naive, but I still feel bad for those kids. I do. Yes, the chances are that those kids would've been terrible human beings, but there are extraordinary people who come from horrible parents and overcome their upbringing. I believe in the power of human spirit, in the power of seeing the other side of the story. I believe that God would have revealed the truth to them at some point of their lives, and it would have been up to them whether to accept or reject it. But they never got that chance, and no matter how much I try to forget about it, I cannot. Hence my serious mood.
Don't misunderstand me. Had I had a chance, I wouldn't think twice about making those kids orphans. And I am not too sorry for his wife either. She did not marry him when he was nice and cuddly, before he became what he had become. She knew what she was getting into. But them... you don't get to choose your parents.
So the question for me remains: am I so wrong, naive or stupid in feeling bad for them? Is it wrong? Or is it wrong not to?
Vasisualiy and I were watching a movie yesterday. Not our regular light Saturday night pick, but I was very intrigued by the Netflix description and ordered it any way. This movie is called "Goebbels Experiment" and it is about..well Goebbels. What is interesting about this movie is that there is not commentary. It is entirely based on his diary entries and his speeches. I wasn't shocked by anything in this movie because I knew most of it. They didn't really show a lot of violence or emaciated Jewish bodies where survivors don't look much different than the dead. I don't really need that. Those pictures are in my head and heart constantly. What was interesting about the movie is seeing a human being behind the facts, the deeds, the horrors he was responsible for. Interesting, but not shocking. I guess nothing could be more shocking than the deeds themselves.
However, I couldn't help but feel sorry for his kids. There was footage of them and they seemed so innocent, so normal. On the other hand, with the father like Goebbels, they probably would have turned out just the same. I even told Vasisuliy that I felt very conflicted about this. His take was that those were "zmeyonishy" (little snakes) and I shouldn't feel like that. Call me naive, but I still feel bad for those kids. I do. Yes, the chances are that those kids would've been terrible human beings, but there are extraordinary people who come from horrible parents and overcome their upbringing. I believe in the power of human spirit, in the power of seeing the other side of the story. I believe that God would have revealed the truth to them at some point of their lives, and it would have been up to them whether to accept or reject it. But they never got that chance, and no matter how much I try to forget about it, I cannot. Hence my serious mood.
Don't misunderstand me. Had I had a chance, I wouldn't think twice about making those kids orphans. And I am not too sorry for his wife either. She did not marry him when he was nice and cuddly, before he became what he had become. She knew what she was getting into. But them... you don't get to choose your parents.
So the question for me remains: am I so wrong, naive or stupid in feeling bad for them? Is it wrong? Or is it wrong not to?
Friday, March 16, 2007
I think it's working
Wow,
Since everyone now seems to be having a blog, I decided why not. This will be my space to vent, post and share things that come into my head. I am actually very excited. Now I will got back home and try to prepare the real first entry.
Yay me!
Since everyone now seems to be having a blog, I decided why not. This will be my space to vent, post and share things that come into my head. I am actually very excited. Now I will got back home and try to prepare the real first entry.
Yay me!
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